A Travellerspoint blog

A bit bunged up


Suffering from a lack of privacy has me reaching for the Senokot. It reminds me of when I was suffering from the same affliction last year when on holiday in France. The three of us queued up at the very busy pharmacy, me thinking 'I hope I don't get the guy. 'Bonjour monsieur. Avez vous quelquechose pour la constipation s'il vous plait?' He rattled off something in French to which I smiled and nodded before scarpering. About two minutes later a thought took hold like a shockwave. The French are quite partial for some reason to taking medication up their bottoms. I ripped open the pack and the diagrams said all I needed to know. In the interests of the readers' sensibilities I shall cut to the end. It worked.

They are just sealing off the toilet block now as we whistle nonchalantly making our exit.

Posted by jhanford 07:26 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged health_and_medicine Comments (1)


As we approached Aviemore the rain stopped and the sun came out and we arrived at the camppsite on the side os a small loch amidst pine trees in sunshine. Captivating. Clothes off and in we go mad woman mad kids and mad dog. The only swimmers.

That night the wind was vicious. The wind outside the van. I really thought the van would tip over and could hear the plaintive sounds of the blokies who had been sent out to batten down the tent pegs.

The next day broke bright and sunny once more and the three of us headed off to take the funicular (I just love that word) railway to the top of Cairn Gorm. A beautiful walk followed by stunning views.

A point blank refusal to walk back gave us a 40 min wait for the bus. With the gift shop nearby there was ample time to fall prey to clever marketing. So who would have thought that a slightly stretchy tube of material could be sold for 12.99 and that so many dimwits, self included, could be persuaded to shell out.

Posted by jhanford 03:16 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged automotive Comments (0)

A Narrow Escape


We have been so lucky with the weather. We left a miserably wet Loch Lomond and headed for Aviemore. Stopping en route to make bacon sarnies in the Aldi car park in Perth and felt like proper pikeys turns out that an old school friend who we have been trying to meet up with was only 10 mins away. Narrow escape Iain.

Posted by jhanford 03:09 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged automotive Comments (0)

Danger of Asphyxiation


Now that there are 3 of us to share the workload things are so much easier! Ben is in charge of water in, poo out. Sam is in charge of vacuuming, is Rubbish Meister and Sous Chef. Not much left for me to do, except monitor the squabbles e.g. Who has done the most poo therefore whose turn should it be this time etc

We drove from Ayr to Loch Lomond again taking an hour longer than expected. Sam reckons I should expect it to take an hour less then it should work out just right. Again we enjoyed a beautiful sunny day, and a lovely visit from Juli, Isabelle and Jessica. Ben and I took Marley for a walk and then, because I may never get another chance, I went for a swim in the loch.

Now we are having the proper Scottish morning. Rain and porridge for breakfast. Against the advice of his elder Sam stirred peaanut butter into his porridge and in doing so we discovered the limit of what peanut butter will go with.

Has anyone ever died of methane poisoning?

Posted by jhanford 01:11 Archived in United Kingdom Comments (0)

So Far So Good

sunny 20 °C

And so, the intrepid quartet - Ben, Sam, Marley and mum - set off in Big Bertha all clean, tidy and ironed to begin the slide into decrepitude. We drove up to a service area par excellence on the M6 in the Lake District. The scenery suddenly changes when you get to the Lake District. Words like sweeping, majestic, awe-inspiring spring to mind but just feel like cliches. I don't have the wit to do it justice so will leave it there to entice the reader. So after checking into the campsite and visiting the hotel bar, the shop and the cafe I was feeling a little self-congratulatory. Then we met the levellers - midges. It's hard to be smug when your head is in a cloud of flies and you look like the smelly kid off Charlie Brown.

Catching Sam out of the corner of my eye 'Sam, stop staring'. 'What am I staring at mum?' 'The Man with the Funny Shaped Face'. 'No I was staring at the Very Fat Lady'.

Astonished and pleased to be able to report that we are having a barbie this evening. The weather is beautiful and we all splashed about in the sea this afternoon. Until Marley poo'd, yes in the sea. That one was my one apparently.

Posted by jhanford 10:52 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged automotive Comments (0)

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